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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512443">A bit more than a couple of years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/926Ren/pseuds/926Ren'>926Ren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Half of It (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aster and Ellie being roomates after college, F/F, Fluff, there's other people but they don't really show up very much</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:22:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/926Ren/pseuds/926Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After good 10 minutes of moving and trying to find the perfect spot and making a quick change into her painting clothes, Aster finally seemed to be ready to start. Not that Ellie was secretly waiting to be a witness to this specific process, but she hasn't typed a single word since the other girl gave indications of what she was about to do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ellie Chu/Aster Flores</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie closed the door of her bedroom and sat down on the floor to catch a breath.</p><p>Moving back from Iowa to Squahamish after graduation became an event since, through the 4 years she had spent in Grinnell, Ellie managed to accumulate even more books, papers and used notebooks than she did before she left the small town, resulting in boxes and more boxes that now, she had to find the strength  to bring upstairs.</p><p>She was sure Paul would have helped if she had asked. But Ellie knew his family’s restaurant was busy during the weekend’s nights, and didn’t want to deprive the local citizens from the best sausage chef of the town. </p><p>Maybe she should throw away some of those boxes. More specifically the ones filled with half written letters she never got the courage to either finish or send, but also never had had the heart to discard. The excuse was that one day she, somehow, might need those random ideas and thoughts to write something, even if deep down she knew only one person would be able to fully understand them. One person that wasn’t locked in anymore, in this little town.</p><p>Ellie knew that Aster had left Squahamish a month and half after she did, to study arts in a community college in Sacramento. Paul told her all about it, because small town gossip still traveled fast.</p><p>There was a big fight between Aster and her parents, who wanted her daughter to marry the perfect good guy from the perfect rich good family and become a housewife, have children. But apparently Aster had other plans, bolder plans, and as soon as she was accepted in the community college, she sold her car and some of her belongings, packed her art supplies and with a little help and extra money from Paul, caught the first train out of town and never looked back.</p><p>Ellie found out during spring break of that year, with a dose of disbelief, that the Flores family kept going on with their lives as if nothing major had happened, as if the deacon didn’t have a daughter all alone somewhere in Sacramento and that the only person in that town who still seemed to worry about Aster, was Paul. </p><p>That same day Ellie did something she swore she would never do. Created a Facebook account. And added Paul and Aster as her friends. </p><p>That’s how she later found out that Aster, luckly, managed to find a job and a safe place to live. And even if they didn’t talk much except for some happy birthday or merry christmas messages, it was a relief knowing that the girl was safe and well.</p><p>Ellie almost asked her for the address multiple times, an attempt to find courage to send any of the letters she wrote, but watching Aster <em> flourish </em>(pun intended) through the pictures she posted nearly every week, gave Ellie the impression that the girl was doing so much better without any trace of that stupid little town on her life. So she wasn’t going to impose her presence and risk ruining this freedom Aster seemed to have found, because she knew she herself was a reminder of Squahamish, liking it or not.</p><p>Through four years she observed from afar, with nothing more than a heart or a smiley emoji to a post, as Aster went on about her life. And now they both had graduated and Ellie went back home temporarily, until she had everything ready for her next step, and could only wish Aster would be able to move forward too.</p><p>***</p><p>The news that she had been offered a scholarship to pursue a Master’s degree in UCLA right after she graduated in college had made her dad proud. And thanks to some of the savings he had been doing plus the ones she did since she started writing articles for philosophy magazines and doing book reviews, she would be able to move to L.A. by the middle of august. So she decided to spend this one last summer with her family before moving across the country and take the time to do some good apartment hunting, besides she needed somewhere safe to keep the boxes with her extra belongings, since she figured she would accumulate even more things in Los Angeles.</p><p>Ellie should have guessed though, that looking for a place she could pay, that wasn’t that far away from the campus and that was in habitable conditions, wouldn’t be easy. The apartments were either too expensive and small or located in a satellite city and would require Ellie to spend way too much money with transportation. She was still looking for a decent middle ground between her options when her phone announced she had a notification. </p><p><em> Aster Flores had just published a photo </em>, the app said, and Ellie might have gotten over the fact that she had all of Aster’s notifications on by now, but wouldn’t have anyone, let alone Paul, knowing that. She had to turn that option off immediately. </p><p>So she went to the girl’s profile noticing with a small corner smile that the photo she had posted was one of Aster and her classmates celebrating graduation in front of a building Ellie supposed it was the college. Aster looked truly happy, free even, and the photo had captured the exact moment she was bursting into a probably high pitched laughter, like the one Ellie and Paul heard when they followed the girl inside a horror movie exhibition.</p><p>She was going to give her signature heart shaped reaction when her eye caught the first comment below the photo.</p><p><b> <em>Adam Hallet</em> </b> <em> : Don’t go to California, Flores!!! Who’s gonna cook quesadillas on sundays? </em></p><p>The reply almost made Ellie’s heart jump out of her chest.</p><p><b> <em>Aster F. </em> </b> : <em> I‘m sure I can find a way to ship them from LA  </em></p><p>The conversation kept going on and on with the use of too many crying and laughing emojis for Ellie’s like, but it didn’t interest her. Because, of course, splitting the rent of a residence could be an option, but she also knew that the chances of finding a decent, non creepy roommate in a big city was nearly impossible. Sharing a small space with a stranger would be the last of her plans, designed to be used only in a desperate situation, but if the roommate wasn’t so much of a stranger, it would be perfect. Too perfect maybe.</p><p>She opened the chat box and typed ‘<em> Hey, Aster’ </em>before she could chicken out. After almost 3 minutes of trying to gather her thoughts, she continued.</p><p>
  <em> Long time no see.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Congratulations on your graduation, I hope your studies were everything you hoped for. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I may have heard you’re going to LA and it turns out I’m heading the same direction next semester too. I have an offer if you’re interested. </em>
</p><p>The reply came back in the middle of the night, at around 3 AM,  and startled Ellie even though she was still awake and waiting, too anxious to be able to fall asleep.</p><p>
  <em> Heathen!!!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wow, it’s been a while. Thank you and congrats to you too </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yeah I’m moving to LA as soon as possible… So, what do you have to offer? </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Ellie would like to think they had found the perfect place. An one bedroom apartment with a bathroom, living room, laundry and kitchen, probably made to be used by one person but with a way too expensive rent. The good news, it was only a 20 minutes walk away from the campus. The bad news, someone would probably have to sleep on the couch.</p><p>“Between both of our jobs, we can easily split the rent. I think we found a winner, Heathen”. Aster said through the phone on the weekend's facetime call they did to show off their options of a shared place to live.</p><p>It was a bit of a shock how fast the girl had accepted Ellie’s idea of moving in together. Sure, it was practical and somehow safer than any of the other options they had, but it was still a surprise.</p><p>Maybe the surprising part wasn't the acceptance itself, but rather how easily they would fall into conversation and speak about many different topics, as if they haven't spent the last four years barely sharing any words; how Aster's laugh haven't changed a bit; and how those feelings, that Ellie thought she had already dealt with, were resurfacing every time she saw the other girl's face on her phone screen.</p><p>Through their conversations Ellie learned that Aster had too scored a master's scholarship on UCLA on fine arts, that she had worked as a tattoo artist, as a bartender, a saleswoman but now had finally got a job as a graphic designer for a few small companies. It didn't pay much, but it was enough to live in another city that wasn't Squahamish. </p><p>Ellie had also learned that the other girl didn't talk about her parents or any kind of hardship she might have gone through after leaving her home. She would rather talk about the future, or, as she liked to point out, their future, because they were going to be on each other's lives once again.</p><p>The reality of this statement didn't fully sit down with Ellie until August 12th, the day she moved into the apartment they would be sharing and waited for Aster. According to the other girl, a friend who was going on a road trip would give her a ride there.</p><p>The place on itself was a bit more damaged than the pictures online showed. Three or four walls needed to be repainted and the bathroom and kitchen were going to need some great cleaning feast, but other than that, everything seemed to be in order. </p><p>Listening to her father's advice, Ellie made sure the power was on; that the tv, stove and refrigerator were working and that there was running water on every sink and on the shower. Finally, after checking if all the lockers were good, it was time to unpack.</p><p>She didn't bring much more than her clothes, that she accommodated on the right side of the closet; some books, that were stocked under the bed for easy access; and her computer, that was left somewhere around the kitchen island.</p><p>In the end, the place really wasn't that big, with the living room and kitchen being divided only by the old couch that actually looked quite comfortable to sleep in and a  short corridor that led to the bedroom, bathroom and the laundry in the back. Ellie didn't have any personal problems with small spaces, she hoped Aster didn't either, because with the two of them in there, one could easily feel claustrophobic.</p><p>There wasn't much time left to overthink all of this though, because soon, she heard someone knocking at the door and there could be only one person doing it.</p><p>Ellie wasn't sure if she was ready, but there was also no escaping it. She knew that delaying the encounter with Aster was only going to help increase her levels of anxiety and awkwardness, so she ran towards the door.</p><p>But still froze before turning the lock.</p><p>Objectively, she knew Aster had changed. It was implied in their conversations over the phone, but Ellie was not sure she was ready to face this change or to know what it could mean, or even if it had to mean anything at all.</p><p>Was there any chance the universe somehow was doing its work by putting them face to face, forcing Ellie to keep her promise to see the other girl again even if she was 2 years late?</p><p>Her brain was running a million times per hour trying to find the answer, but another knock was the final sign that confirmed her time was up. Then, she opened the door.</p><p>And it was like Ellie was teleported back to Squahamish High school, on that very same day she was walking around the hallways, trying to contact the energy company, until all of her stuff went to the floor.</p><p>It was almost unbelievable that Aster still had the same ability to leave Ellie speechless with a single smile, just like 4 years ago.</p><p>"Can I come in or am I allowed to only stand by the door?". Aster asked when Ellie didn't say a word or moved for a moment too long.</p><p>" Oh, sorry… sorry. My bad". Ellie stepped aside, almost tripping on her own feet thanks to her hurry.</p><p>Aster shook her head in amusement. "Guess somethings don't change"</p><p>***</p><p>Aster didn't bring too much with her either. Only two backpacks, a fan, a box full of art supplies and five books. </p><p>Ellie watched her as she gave a good look to the place. She noticed Aster's hair was a bit longer than she remembered, her jeans and white t-shirt had, what it seemed to be, paint stains and the usual shining aurea she carried during high school was dimmed. It didn't have to be a bad thing though, maybe her light was just different from before. Ellie didn't want to think that someone or something had taken even a bit of that light away.</p><p>"Ellie!". She was brought back from her inner monologue by Aster's voice. "Are you going to keep spacing out the whole time? You're not high, are you?"</p><p>She was sure her eyes were wide open for a moment due to the implication. She would never do that. "Nope. Don't do drugs".</p><p>The other girl nodded and they just stood there, awkwardly facing each other.</p><p>"It is nicer than expected". When Ellie made a face signing she didn't know what she meant, Aster completed. "The apartment"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Might need some more cleaning though.". </p><p>"Yep, but we have more pressing matters on our hands." Ellie adjusted her glasses, once again not really following the train of thoughts. "What are we having for lunch?"</p><p>***</p><p>They ordered something from a small restaurant close by and were currently sitting on the couch while eating and watching some tv.</p><p>Ellie couldn’t help but consider the duality of the whole situation. It was different and familiar at the same time, awkward but comfortable, it made Ellie hyper aware of herself but not to the point she would be willing to go away. </p><p>Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Aster carried this duality too. She was a stranger but also someone Ellie knew, and she couldn’t help but try to figure out which parts of Aster were making her a different person and which parts were still the same.</p><p>Maybe it was a habit from high school, observing her for too long periods of time, but Ellie’s curiosity usually got the best of her when it came to Aster. It wasn’t like anyone would notice her doing it when she was a teenager. </p><p>Though she may have forgotten that, sitting not 5 feet away from the person she was contemplating would give her intentions away. Luckily, the other girl didn’t seem to mind, constantly gifting Ellie’s predisposition to be awkward with a side smile.</p><p>This was something that definitely hasn’t changed.</p><p>“Ok”. Aster started, putting the empty pack of food away. “Since we’re going to live together we should be honest with each other. You can ask what you want”</p><p>Ellie immediately knew what she was talking about, or at least what she thought Ellie might be thinking about.</p><p>What the hell had happened to Aster after she left Squahamish? </p><p>It was clearly a sore topic, and the other girl had once made it clear her displeasure for it. There was an opening here though, and Ellie would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that ever since they started talking again, she was willing to know as much about Aster as she could. So she weighed her options.</p><p>“Did you get to paint nude models in art school?”</p><p>She chuckled and watched as Aster bursted into laughter, clearly taken aback by the unexpected question. Ellie still recognized the silent thank you behind it.</p><p>“No, Heathen. I didn’t. Not inside the college facilities, at least”. Aster answered, still slightly catching her breath and walking towards the bedroom direction. She came back with an old notebook on her hands. “But it doesn’t mean there weren’t a few paties where it could arranged”</p><p>She handed it to Ellie, who flipped through the pages. A bunch of faceless body sketches on display, ones more meticulously traced than the others, but you could see, thanks to the richness of the strokes, that each one belonged to a different person. </p><p>There were some other details too, like hands, feet, breasts, eyes, some profiles, but the part of the body Aster had most captured on the sketches was people’s torsos viewed from the back. Some had tattoos or scars, some had defined muscles and others were bare. Ellie also noticed Aster would spend some great time working on the hair.</p><p>She pointed to one of them. “Why?”</p><p>The other girl shrugged. “It’s probably the most natural angle you can draw someone, because they can’t really see you doing it”</p><p>Ellie nodded and kept flipping the pages in silence.</p><p>“Can I ask something too?”. She heard the question, but only gave a monosyllabic response, mind still too concentrated on the sketches. Aster went on anyway. “Who’s gonna take the single bed?”</p><p>This was a problem Ellie had considered upon arriving. Because they would be sharing the space of the bedroom, but there was no way they could fit another bed in the room like they had initially planned.</p><p>With only part of her brain paying attention to what she was saying, Ellie didn’t put much thought on how her suggestion would sound. </p><p>“We could share. What do you think?” The lack of response from Aster was what made her attention switch from the notebook to the other girl’s face. Her confused expression accompanied by a single eyebrow raised got Ellie to review her words and... “Oh no, no, no. Not like that! I meant we could take turns! One week it’s yours, the other it’s mine.”</p><p>Aster let out a small chuck, shaking her head, amused again by Ellie’s antics.</p><p>“Fair enough”. She turned her back to Ellie and started to walk in the direction of the bathroom one more time. “You mind if I take the first turn? I have slept in the back of a car all the way from Sacramento”</p><p>“It’s all yours”</p><p>Ellie watched the girl disappear inside the room, not sure if she had actually seen a light shade of pink covering her cheeks.</p><p>Still flipping through the sketches, she heard Aster get into the shower, then announcing  she was going to take a nap. Ellie just nodded and kept her attention fixed on the pages until she had fully analysed the last one.  </p><p>It was the increasing darkness surrounding her that told Ellie most of the afternoon was gone. Aster must have been really tired, because she was still asleep when Ellie got into the room to grab some money so she could go to the supermarket and buy anything edible to make dinner. Her heart filled up with way too many words and she didn’t know what to do with it, thanks to the sight of the other girl having the ability to look ethereal in the most unusual circumstances.</p><p>She made a quick work of dinner, leaving some on the fridge for Aster that was still sleeping. The whole scenario still looked a bit too surreal to Ellie, it was like she was in a vivid dream. She could feel everything and had control over her actions, but it didn’t really feel like reality, it felt more like a crazy dream she would be awake from at any minute and then realize she was still 18 and in her bedroom in Squahamish.</p><p>Aster was mostly to blame for this sensation. It was impossible not to feel like a teenager around her.</p><p>Maybe a good night of sleep would shake away this strange feeling. Besides, she had a long time ahead to get used to the fact that Aster Flores was now living under the same roof as her. And to try to prove that high school crushes didn’t last more than they should have.</p><p>***</p><p>Ellie woke up with the smell of coffee and pancakes and a comfy blanket over her, she looked around for her glasses and heard someone that would probably be Aster by the kitchen. The sun wasn’t too high up and one glance at her phone screen told her that it was barely 7AM.</p><p>“She lives!”. Ellie said with ironical enthusiasm as she passed by to wash her face.</p><p>“Morning, heathen. Coffee is ready”</p><p>They ate in silence, with Aster distracted by something on her phone, until Ellie noticed the girl was already fully dressed for the day and that there were a bunch of cleaning supplies among other things by the door.</p><p>“What time did you get up?”</p><p>“5 AM. Then I went to a 24h store and bought some stuff we would need for today”</p><p>Ellie scoffed “Did you become a 90 years old lady? Who wakes up before dawn?”</p><p>Aster answered smiling. “Grumpy in the mornings. Got it. And old habits die hard”</p><p>She tried to defend herself, because, yeah, she was kinda grumpy after waking up, but Aster didn’t need to notice it right away. “Just didn’t think you would still be an early riser”.</p><p>But the other girl just shrugged, putting away her dishes in the sink. “It’s the best time for painting”</p><p>Cleaning didn’t take as much time as they thought it would. They both worked on different areas in a comfortable silence, throwing random thoughts at each other and Ellie was incredibly thankful that she could actually share this kind of connection with someone again.</p><p>With the rest of the day free and with not too many things to do, Ellie decided to work on one of her articles by the kitchen island, as Aster organized her canvas, charcoal, brushes and paints by the windows, on the opposite side from Ellie.</p><p>After good 10 minutes of moving and trying to find the perfect spot and making a quick change into her painting clothes, Aster finally seemed to be ready to start. Not that Ellie was secretly waiting to be a witness to this specific process, but she hasn't typed a single word since the other girl gave indications of what she was about to do. </p><p>The fact the Aster had her hair on a bun, was wearing old shorts and a loose t-shirt and looking like a painting herself, ran all over Ellie's head. Or at least was what she told herself. </p><p>When Aster finally sat down to face the blank canvas, Ellie noticed it. </p><p>She would have to blame the afternoon sun for her reaction, really, shining so brightly through the living room window that made it impossible not to see the trace of black ink on the other girl's thigh.</p><p>There was also the inexistent philter she carried when it came to Aster Flores.</p><p>"You have a tattoo?"</p><p>Aster raised an eyebrow, and took her time to start tracing a few lines of her painting to answer. Ellie almost thought she wouldn’t say anything at all.</p><p>“Two actually”</p><p>“Oh…”.</p><p>“Kinda had a rebellious phase”</p><p>She considered Aster’s words and, well, sure there was a lot to unpack there, but Ellies’s desire to discover what kind of stuff Aster was made of now, was strong too.</p><p>“And how's it like to be a rebel?”</p><p>The other girl’s expressions became thoughtful and Ellie figured she would take a while to reply, so she started to finally type on her computer as Aster added some color to her painting.</p><p>Ellie was more than halfway through the article when the girl called her.</p><p>“Heathen”. She moved to face Aster. “This is what is like to be a rebel”</p><p>Ellie watched with surprise as Aster showed her the painting. It was an abstract mix of black, purple, blue, white and yellow; curves that reminded her of clashing waves and a thunderstorm at the same time.  </p><p>She got closer to inspect the piece better. Aster’s bold strokes clear to her.</p><p>“I think I get it. Intense, but carrying some certainty. Like a natural phenomenon: You know what is bound to happen when it rains a lot, doesn’t mean you don’t get scared of the lightning”</p><p>Aster let out an incredulous noise. “I don’t know how you do it”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You always understand me, without making me explain anything”</p><p>Ellie hoped the pink of her cheeks could be justified by the heat of the room, but she doubted. Because the truth was that, after watching Aster for so long, she learned they kinda had the same line of thoughts, so all Ellie had to do was take her own interpretation of things and the chances were that Aster’s would follow. She didn’t understand why.</p><p>Adjusting her glasses, Ellie pointed out the tattoo on Aster’s skin to change the subject. It was an all black pattern of flowers and leaves that started on the middle of her thigh and disappeared up into her clothes.</p><p>“You did it yourself?”</p><p>Aster nodded. “The parts I could reach, yes”.</p><p>“And the ones you couldn’t?”. Ellie asked, trying to not really imagine the state of undress Aster had to be for it.</p><p>The girl only said a name “Adam”</p><p>Of course.</p><p>Aster also took the rebel painting off the portable easel, leaving it to dry in a corner and replaced with another blank canvas. Ellie wanted to ask if she was going to paint again, but decided against it. For some reason she didn’t want to talk anymore.</p><p>Aster answered her anyway.</p><p>“I sell them for extra money.” She explained, already mixing blue and yellow ink and doing what maybe was the shape of tree leaves. “5 bucks each. 10 if I’m lucky”</p><p>Without saying a word, Ellie quickly went to the bedroom, grabbed some dollar bills from her wallet and gave them to Aster. The other girl was going to ask what the hell was that money for, but Ellie just picked up the painting from the corner and brought it to the kitchen island where she was still working. She then proceeded to type on her computer again. </p><p>She could still see Aster counting the money.</p><p>“I said 5 dollars, Heathen.”</p><p>Ellie replied without taking her eyes from the screen. “I gave 10 more for the authenticy”</p><p>Aster laughed incredulously again.   </p><p>***</p><p>After almost a week, Ellie was glad to realize that the days with Aster were basically resumed to cooking, quick travels to the supermarket, cleaning, working on whatever project they had, then doing some reading or painting. Sometimes in complete silence and sometimes accompanied by long conversations.</p><p>She figured none of them were particularly outgoing people and Ellie wondered how uncomfortable it might have been for Aster to have to go with Trig and his friends everywhere around Squahamish. </p><p>Aster did go to Santa Monica beach during the weekend though, to try to sell some of her paintings. Ellie said she would be guarding the fortress when the girl asked if she wanted to go with her. Later she came back with a light tan and some 28 more dollars, she put half on a jar labeled <em> money to repaint the walls. </em></p><p>“Is it weird that we are in a big city, but don’t feel like going anywhere?”. Aster asked while she helped Ellie with dinner by preparing some mashed potatoes.</p><p>“Didn’t you enjoy the beach the other day?” Ellie threw the questions back, turning off the stove and moving the chicken she had just prepared to the kitchen island.  </p><p>“I did! But I just feel more like staying in”. Ellie honestly shared the sentiment. Why leave the apartment when the most intriguing and interesting individual was right there with her? "But this is LA, right? There must be a party going on somewhere"</p><p>"Did you have a party girl phase too?"</p><p>Aster laughed. "Nope. Don't really like alcohol." She served some of the mashed potatoes to Ellie's plate. "But let's just say the parties happened where I already was living"</p><p>She wanted to ask what exactly this place was, but she knew the other girl would talk about it when she was ready, but  haven't really figured out it would be during dinner after a monotonous day.</p><p>"It was a small house I shared with 5 other people". Ellie paid attention as Aster shared information between bites. "The owner, Mark, didn't work, didn't study, but always had money to throw parties every Friday for his friends"</p><p>"And you stayed there until…?" </p><p>"Until I moved here, with you". </p><p>It wasn't very hard to guess what kind of person this Mark was. And Ellie knew that living by herself at 18 with barely any money shouldn't be easy, but as the number of dangerous situations Aster might have got herself into only increased, Ellie's worry did the same, despite knowing that the other girl was fine now. </p><p>She couldn't really help the little amount of anger on her words when she spoke again.</p><p>"You didn't have to go through this alone, you know?".</p><p>Aster dropped her fork and knife at the light accusation.</p><p>"What else did you want me to do?"</p><p>"Ask for help?" Before the other girl could question to whom, Ellie continued. "I know you had a hard time with you family, but there was still people out there who cared about you"</p><p>At that, Aster got up from her seat, voice raising and with a defensive stance Ellie only remembered ever seen once.</p><p>"Would you have done what exactly? Send me money? That was not what I needed, Ellie. I know it wasn't ideal, but I was lucky to find those people"</p><p>She got up too, still trying to remain calm, even if her voice was almost matching Aster's in volume.</p><p>"You consider living with a drug dealer being lucky?"</p><p>"Yes! Because I had nowhere to go and still didn't need to sleep one single night in the streets!"</p><p>Recognizing her stress was coming more from fear than anger, Ellie went quiet. So many things could have gone wrong, but, maybe for a miracle, they haven't. Aster was here and safe and didn't actually go through the worst scenarios she could have faced. She sat down again, eyes glued to her hands on her lap.</p><p>"Why did you have to leave anyway?"</p><p>Aster did the same and took a few more bites of her food before answering. "I kinda came out to my father in the middle of a fight"</p><p>Ellie looked up at that. "Oh…"</p><p>"Yeah, it didn't take a couple of years to figure out I wasn't only into guys".</p><p>She broke the eye contact with Aster to adjust her glasses and they finished their food in silence.</p><p>While doing the dishes, Ellie asked a bit more about the life Aster had in Sacramento. The girl told her how she met Adam and his friends smoking close to the community college, right after arriving in the city and that it was them who introduced her to Mark; how some of them ended up being her classmates; how Adam offered her a job at his tattoo parlor; and how living with those people was a bit of a shock at first, but she got used to it.</p><p>Considering all things, she had to admit. Aster really was lucky.</p><p>"It was freeing, actually. And scary as hell"</p><p>"Isn't it the premise of freedom? To be scary?". Ellie asked and met Aster's eyes when she noticed the girl was looking at her, probably considering the question.</p><p>"Maybe". She said as her smile grew bigger by the second "But it's not just that"</p><p>Aster put the final fork on its place and left the room almost giggling. Ellie didn't understand what the hell was so funny.</p><p>***</p><p>There were only 5 days left for the semester to start, and they were almost finishing repainting the walls. </p><p>Both had decided to keep the same snow shade of white on three of them. On the last one, there was going to be a mural and would be the first thing to see when walking inside the apartment. </p><p>Aster insisted they had to do it together and pointed out it wasn't as exciting as vandalising someone else's building, but it was fun nevertheless.</p><p>And Ellie observed that, even though the other girl liked to have fun with abstract painting, she was also extremely good in the realistic ones. If the scene of a hot spring viewed from above, surrounded by trees, with two individuals floating on the water was anything to go by.</p><p>She tried to help Aster by putting into practice what the other girl taught her about shadows and lighting, but she had to admit her talents were limited. Besides she would rather watch Aster cautiously painting the details of the two people floating on the hot spring. Even from afar, she could see the stripes of the orange shirt she was wearing that day.</p><p>After a long moment of comfortable silence, Ellie asked from where she was lying down on the couch.</p><p>"Don't you mind it?" Aster only made a question-like noise to tell her to elaborate. "To be observed".</p><p>She watched Aster put her brush down, still facing the wall for a moment, but then turned to fully stare at Ellie, already smirking, eyebrow raised.</p><p>"You only ask me this now?"</p><p>She mirrored the other girl's expression. "Yes?"</p><p>And to be honest, Ellie has been wondering that for a while, but since Aster never said anything, she ended up having to figure out herself. She imagined not everyone would feel comfortable being under another person's gaze for too long. </p><p>Though she had to keep in mind Aster wasn't just <em> everyone. </em></p><p>"No, I don't mind". The girl said, already turning back to the stripes of the orange shirt on the painting. “Think I got used to it”.</p><p>She didn’t clarify if she was familiarized with specifically Ellie looking at her for long periods of time or just in general and Ellie still wasn’t ready to accept it could be the second option. Instead, she got up from the couch and sat as close as possible from Aster without touching her, placing both hands under her chin and making a scene out of watching the other girl.</p><p>She counted 6 seconds before Aster broke her serious semblance and started laughing.</p><p>“What are you doing?!”.</p><p>Trying her best not to follow the giggles, Ellie replied. “You said you didn’t mind”</p><p>“You’re ridiculous”</p><p>
  <em> And you are really beautiful </em>
</p><p>Ellie grew suddenly quiet at the thought, and at how it came to her so naturally and so fast, giving her one more thing to wonder about… How was it possible she was kinda maybe still in love with Aster after all this time?</p><p>The other girl must have noticed her quick change of behavior, because the next thing she knew, there was the sensation of cold paint being brushed on her nose and Aster doing a terrible job of pretending to hold her laughter.</p><p>“Did you just…?”</p><p>“You get lost inside your head way too much, heathen”.</p><p>Ellie remained in silence until Aster thought it was safe enough to go back to her work. She then jumped on the girl and took the brush out of her hands, pinned her to the floor and started to take revenge.</p><p>Aster was screaming and laughing at the same time, but Ellie was relentlessly spreading orange paint all over her face and shirt, no matter how much the girl struggled. Only when she was satisfied with her work she stopped.</p><p>“Who is ridiculous now, Flores?” Aster didn’t answer out loud, still, Ellie knew the look she was giving was one of someone who was already planning a counter attack.</p><p>She braced herself for another round of fighting over the brush, however, it never happened. Aster stayed there, laying down between her legs, breathing heavily and looking straight into Ellie’s eyes.</p><p>In that moment Ellie noticed that the amount of time they remained in that position was proportional to the growth of her desire to do something increadible stupid that could mess everything up, plus, that Aster wasn’t particularly going to do anything to get out of there.</p><p>
  <em> But isn’t what love is? Messy? </em>
</p><p>Ellie shook her head at the amount of stupidity she was thinking and moved from above the other girl to lay down next to her. </p><p>They were quiet again, Ellie couldn’t hear more than Aster probably taking deep breaths, but she knew somehow the girl also had her eyes closed. The air felt heavy, or maybe it was Ellie’s heart refusing to beat slower that was making it difficult for her to breath too.</p><p>“Do you miss your hot spring?”. Not the greatest icebreaker, she knew. It was still better than the whole suffocating situation she had put both of them in.</p><p>Aster sat up and took the brush from Ellie’s hands. Slowly, she went back to work on the striped orange shirt on the wall she was almost finishing. </p><p>With her eyes closed, Ellie could feel almost the whole heaviness disappear when Aster spoke.</p><p>“Yes”. She paused to change brushes and started to color Ellie’s hair. “But I’m only ever coming back to that town to rescue my sister when she graduates”.</p><p>Ellie pondered for a moment. “We’re gonna need a bigger place with one more room”.</p><p>She heard Aster scoff in a sort of incredulous way. “Do you think we will still be living together by then?”. Before Ellie could process what she herself had said and get too self conscious about it, Aster held her pulse affectionately. “I’ll hold you to that”.</p><p>***</p><p>The weather in California was very different from the places she had been before, but Ellie knew that it was much warmer than anything.</p><p>It wasn't very comfortable for someone who was used to being a russian doll of clothing, especially when there was one single fan to share between her and Aster.</p><p>The other girl had suggested going to the beach, even if the semester had already started, and Ellie agreed for once. The experience wasn't all that bad but there were too many people and too much sand. Besides none of them got into the water for lack of appropriate attire. </p><p>She had to admit though, there had to be something poetic about Aster playing on the shallow parts of the water and almost glowing under the Santa Monica beach sun.</p><p>It was one of those particular hot weekends and Ellie was sitting by the kitchen island, working on one of the dozens readings the professor gave to her class, the fan blowing wind right into her face, while Aster was brainstorming by the windows, trying to come up with something to paint using watercolor. She could see the girl's back by her peripheral vision and wasn’t sure how she could stand the heat without the fan.</p><p>She was about to share with her thoughts about Aristotle’s vision of balance when the words got caught on her throat. Aster had taken her shirt off, but it wasn’t exactly <em> that </em> that made Ellie feel like her head was spinning uncontrollably. Sure, Aster’s half nakedness and tanned skin was already enough to make Ellie choke on her own saliva, still, it was the colors tattooed on her back that actually caught her attention. </p><p>Ellie knew the other girl had mentioned two tattoos and she had noticed parts of one of them, but never actually asked where the other one was. Despite having accidentally seen Aster in one or another state of undress, she never got a single glimpse of the second tattoo, until now.</p><p>She didn’t know how it happened. One moment she was sitting by the kitchen, the other she was standing behind Aster, hand not even an inch away from touching her skin. It was way too hard to resist.</p><p>Two of her fingers touched Aster’s back and she noticed the little jump the girl did, but she also remained still as Ellie traced the shape of the yellow woman, apparently made out of wind, coming for a bunch of leaves and reaching for a start.</p><p>It was almost unbelievable that Aster had permanently engraved herself with that specific image, that she carried the memory of something her and Ellie had built together.</p><p>“It’s the moment I believed it was worth starting to paint again”.</p><p>Ellie didn’t say anything at first, the possibility of the tattoo meaning more than just that, didn’t get past her head. Still there were way too many questions on her mind, one more urgent than the others.</p><p>“Adam did that one too?”. She wasn’t sure she managed to hide the jealousy in her words. It was extremely frustrating, though, to think about the guy who Aster clearly had had some sort of relationship with, putting his hands on something that was supposed to be just theirs. </p><p>She observed Aster taking a deep breath, slightly shivering when Ellie still moved her fingers on her back.</p><p>“No. I got someone else to do it”</p><p>It was a relief knowing that.</p><p>“It’s really beautiful”. Ellie said, stepping away from Aster and walking backwards to her place by the kitchen island.</p><p>“Thanks”.</p><p>She tried to go back to her reading, but the words stopped making sense to her. Instead, she watched Aster finally start to work or her watercolor painting.</p><p>It turned out to be the face of two people kissing under the sun.</p><p>***</p><p>It was already halfway through the semester when they started to get milder temperatures and going out of the apartment during the day wasn’t umpleasently sweaty, so Aster had convinced Ellie it was about time for them to explore the city in their free time.</p><p>And she didn’t want to think of it as dates, because, objectively speaking, they weren't. There was some hand holding and maybe a kiss on the cheek that would turn Ellie into a bright shade of red, but nothing more. There was no kissing goodnight once they arrived at home, even if Ellie could daydream about it during the whole time they were together outside.</p><p>So no, no dates. Still, there was maybe <em> something </em>and Ellie really wanted to ask Aster what it was, but she had kissed the girl out of nowhere once, and despite not having found any complaints, she figured there was a chance Aster wasn’t ready for another kiss yet. She had no idea why, since Aster said herself she had kissed other girls too.</p><p>The right thing was probably to give Aster the time and space she needed. Besides, it wasn’t a complete terror having to simply spend time with her and demand nothing in exchange. It was probably one of the best things Aster liked about her.</p><p>A knock on the door on a particular Friday evening got things to make more sense though. </p><p>“Are we expecting someone?”. She asked Aster from the couch, where she was eating snacks and watching tv while the other girl was busy with something  in the bedroom.</p><p>“You’re not. But I am”. Ellie turned to see Aster in a red dress and denim jack, light makeup and heels. “Adam is here for a visit”.</p><p>She just nodded, her stomach dropping because, wow, Aster was just <em> so beautiful, </em>worthy of being someone’s muse for sure, but not hers. Four years was probably way too long to wait for a simple high school crush.</p><p>Ellie barely replied when Aster told her goodbye. She felt like the other girl meant it to be forever.</p><p>It was something past midnight when the front door opened, Aster walked in with the heels on her hands, trying to make some minimal noise. It wasn’t really necessary because Ellie was still by the couch, reading on her phone in an almost completely dark room.</p><p>She would be lying if she said she hasn’t been worried about Aster being outside so late at night. She also would be lying if she said she wasn’t waiting for the final proof that she would have to, once for all, get over her feelings for the other girl.</p><p>“Was the date ok?”. Ellie asked and watched as Aster jumped almost imperceptibly. She probably thought Ellie would be sleeping by now.</p><p>The girl didn’t answer her though. She hung her jacket on a nearby chair and walked to where Ellie was and sat down on the couch’s arm that was closest to Ellie’s feet, probably lost on her own thoughts.</p><p>“Do I look different?”</p><p>Without moving, Ellie took a good look on her and, physically speaking, there was nothing different. Her hair and makeup were still perfectly placed and her dress didn’t have more than a few wrinkles. However, there was something odd, and as soon as Ellie put her eyes on her, she could tell something about her aura had changed.</p><p>It wasn’t shiny and bright like in the last few days, it got a bit darker, like when they first saw each after all those years or when they parted ways back in Squahamish. </p><p>She could tell Aster wasn’t completely okay, but also wasn’t necessarily in a bad place. Still, she imagined this wasn’t the kind of answer the girl was looking for.</p><p>“No. Why?”</p><p>She sat up so Aster could make a show of slipping from where she was and falling on Ellie’s lap. Eyes closed. Ellie immediately started to move her fingers through Aster's soft hair.</p><p>Only after relaxing for a bit, Aster replied. “Adam said I was different”</p><p>"Is it a bad thing?"</p><p>"Not really"</p><p>"But?"</p><p>Aster sat up too. So close Ellie could see the pink color of her lipstick in the dark.</p><p>"But I don't really know what it means". She grabbed Ellie's chin gently and brought her lips to Ellie's cheek, closer to her mouth than it had ever been.</p><p>Ellie wanted to blame the lack of light for their lips proximity, but she couldn't be completely sure Aster hasn't done it on purpose. All she could feel was the corner of the girl's mouth soft against hers.</p><p>Aster continued. "I just hope it's something good".</p><p>And with that, she left Ellie to go to sleep.</p><p>***</p><p>She was awake three hours later, though, with the sound of all the windows being opened and the only thing illuminating the room was the flashlight of Aster's phone.</p><p>"What's going on?". She asked too dizzy with sleep to bother looking for her glasses, secretly hoping the person making all that noise was actually Aster and not a stranger breaking in.</p><p>"Power is gone and it's too hot in the bedroom"</p><p>Ellie just made an acknowledgement noise and closed her eyes again. She could hear Aster moving around the room, until the girl stopped by the couch.</p><p>It was too natural for Ellie to move and get on her sides and equally natural for Aster to lay down next to her. The slightly cold breeze making the temperature perfect to lure them both back to dream's land.</p><p>Ellie didn't go to sleep right away, though. Aster's hair smelling like coconut and her body so near, made all of her senses get in alert. The desire to do that very stupid thing, coming on full force.</p><p>She moved a hand around Aster's waist and pulled her close, to test the waters, and the girl didn't protest. She then moved her lips to the base of Aster neck and kissed it, wishing the girl good night. Aster only replied and relaxed even more on Ellie's arms.</p><p>Yep. This was definitely something good.</p><p>***</p><p>When Aster first saw that message on her Facebook app, she thought it was a joke from God and the whole rest of the universe.</p><p>Because why else would Ellie Chu, the girl that had basically shook all the ground from beneath her feet, would want anything to do with her now?</p><p>When she figured out Ellie was offering to share an apartment in LA, she had to burst into laughter, because of course, here the girl was again, making her head a mess and her heart even messier.</p><p>Fortunately, she soon figured out that living with Ellie was easy. The girl had changed a bit since the last time they saw each other in person, but some other things were still the same: she still got lost on her own head very frequently, and she still wrote down her to do list just to make sure she would do everything on time; she still read and shared her thoughts on the current subject; she still looked at Aster as if she was an intricate piece of art; and she still was left frozen, like her brain had just gone into short circuit whenever Aster got too close on her personal space.</p><p>Aster wasn’t sure why she liked the last two things so much. Or actually she did, but the possibility had to be ridiculous. Afterall, what kind of person would still be in love with someone from high school?</p><p>Still, the other girl’s presence was too calm, too comfortable, and Aster saw herself being engulfed by the routine they had created. </p><p>It should be easy, to just get up from her chair one day and kiss Ellie. But life always had the tendency to be complicated and Aster couldn’t fully forget the days in Sacramento and how much Adam had helped her get through what was the hardest part of her life.</p><p>They never officially dated, still, there was a lot of history there, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t miss him a little bit. </p><p>Their last date had been decisive though. His hand didn’t feel right around her shoulders and his kisses were quite empty, and she told him so.</p><p>She knew she had no idea how deep this connection she had with Ellie could go, even with their intimacy growing up in the last couple of days and even though she felt somehow safe, she knew it was leading her to a very unknown path. </p><p>But it has been long since she had learned that there was no way of being truly happy if you weren’t honest with your heart.</p><p>That’s what she had in mind when she found a bunch of letters written to her.</p><p>A few days ago Ellie had called Paul and asked him to ship her some boxes she had in her bedroom in Squahamish, because she needed some of her old books to complete one of her essays. In that morning, the boxes had arrived, all of them, while Ellie was still in class, and Aster had taken some of her free time to look through them and save Ellie the trouble of having to go search for one specific book in the middle of all that caos.</p><p>She did find it. Inside a box labelled “<em> ???????” </em>in a very Ellie Chu way, but what caught her attention was an old letter envelope, with her name written in it in a way that brought her back 4 years into the past.</p><p>And believe her, Aster wasn’t a fan of getting through people’s things without their permission, but the letter was addressed to her, and she wondered if it was one last letter Ellie had written as Paul and just never had the time to send.</p><p>Before opening it, she left the book on the kitchen island, where she knew Ellie would sit down to study when she arrived, and got comfortable on the couch. She would tease Ellie so much because of this later.</p><p>But Aster found it weird when the letter had the date of only 2 years ago.</p><p>
  <em> September, 2023 </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dear Aster, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'm not sure why I keep writing those if I never send them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Maybe I just want to share my thoughts with someone and I wish it was you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anyway, it's a new semester and I can't wait to get overwhelmed with essays again. Hope you're doing well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yours,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ellie. </em>
</p><p>Aster re-read it 5 or 6 times before she was convinced it wasn’t an hallucination. That Ellie seemed to actually have been writing to her for, God knows, how long, even if she had never received anything during all this time.</p><p>She got up and searched through the rest of the boxers, finding multiple other envelopes with her name written. </p><p>One by one, she collected them and opened, revealing over 60 letters written throughout the 4 years Ellie spent in Grinnell. Some were completed, others unfinished; some had just one line, others were 3 to 4 pages long. </p><p>They talked about her days, her classes, the roommates she had had, some pretty girl that remained her of Aster. Some of them also talked about Ellie’s doubts and how she wondered if Aster would be going through the same.</p><p>They also talked about how much she missed Aster, how she hoped that the kiss, despite being maybe a selfish act, didn’t ruin the friendship they could create.</p><p>How she wished there could be more than just friendship.</p><p>Aster had to curse Ellie in an almost affectionate way, because if the girl had sent at least one of those damn letters, she would have made Aster’s life so much easier. She wouldn’t have been left wondering if that promise to meet a couple of years later was actually serious and if Aster still occupied a minimum space inside Ellie’s heart and mind.</p><p>She would have written back in a heartbeat, because not many other things would have cheered her up during those days anyway. Because it would have been the proof that she didn’t need to forget the high school love she had only found way too late and too soon at the same time and that, despite all of her efforts, she still carried with her.</p><p>Gathering the letters, she piled them up on the floor next to her and lied down on the couch to listen to some music, her heart beating up too fast to follow the rhythm of the calm song that was playing. </p><p>Ellie didn’t take much longer to arrive, in that hurried and hectic way that was so hers. She only quickly said hello and already sat down on the kitchen island, thanking Aster for finding her book. </p><p>Aster looked at her, finding quite entertaining the ability Ellie had to forget everything around her once she was concentrated on something.</p><p>Sometimes this <em> something </em>was Aster herself. It made her feel like Ellie was trying to read a very complex book and putting all of her effort in understanding it.</p><p>Aster can't actually remember anyone else that was able to decipher all of her intricate pages.</p><p>Silently, to not disturb the other girl, Aster got up from the couch and walked towards Ellie, stopping right next to her, some of the letters on her hand, hidden behind her back.</p><p>She called Ellie’s name, receiving only a “Just a second” as a reply, because of course the girl had to be busy typing during this very important moment.</p><p>It was almost funny, Aster even had a small smile on her lips as proof. Ellie had made her wait a bit more than a couple of years to do something she really wanted to and now she was making her wait a little more.</p><p>So as soon as Ellie turned and asked “What’s up?”, she didn’t waste any more minutes. </p><p>On her particular experience kissing people, Aster had concluded that girls had a tendency to have softer lips. Though she couldn’t quite remember a kiss ever being this soft, or having the taste of black coffee mixed with another thing she couldn’t exactly point out. Maybe it was the effect of her head spinning or the air leaving her lungs, but in this state it was kinda hard to rationalize.</p><p>She felt Ellie freeze in place at first, but the reaction was anticipated, since being kissed out of nowhere would catch anyone out of guard. But then she noticed the change even with her eyes closed, and felt hands around her waist pushing her closer, lips moving with more intent and her mind getting clouded.</p><p>Aster felt their tongues touching and almost tripped on her own feet, half falling on top of Ellie. They both giggled.</p><p>“Not that I’m complaining, but… why now?”.</p><p>“Guess it was my turn to make a bold move”. </p><p>Ellie nodded. It was fair enough. </p><p>“Besides…”. Aster continued, putting the letters in front of the other girl. “You’re gonna need to explain why you never sent me any of those”</p><p>Ellie got a confused look on her face, then looked around the apartment, finally acknowledging the bunch of boxes Paul had sent. She scratched the back of her head and cursed him loweredly.</p><p>“Mind if I finish the paper first? It’s almost done.”</p><p>“Of course”. Aster said, already stepping away, a smile that felt impossible to get rid off on her lips.</p><p>But before she could go far enough, Ellie held her pulse delicately, making her turn again.</p><p>“Can I have another kiss, though?”. Aster had to grin. Ellie was trying to keep a straight face and doing a terrible job. “You know, for inspiration”.</p><p>She had no idea how that kiss felt like, since they were both smiling way too much, but sure it was one more evidence that this must be her great painting.</p><p>***</p><p>Aster turned the key on the lock and stepped inside their home as silently as possible.</p><p>She had been invited to teach classes in an art school in New York for a full semester and would be coming back to California only by March. That would mean she and Ellie would have to spend their 2 years anniversary away from each other, though.</p><p>They had talked about it and promised to celebrate once Aster had finished the semester. But once November started to get closer, it was becoming more difficult to stay that far away from her girlfriend. So Aster did what stupid people in love do, she bought a plane ticket back to LA to surprise Ellie, even if she had to buy another one to leave in the next morning. </p><p>In all honest, she wouldn’t be spending more than 8 hours back and at-short-notice plane tickets were way too expensive, still, this was a very important date to them and spending it away from Ellie felt way too wrong on too many different levels.</p><p>Aster opened the bedroom door looking for her girlfriend but there was no sign of her. She then walked past the living room and into her studio, because Ellie had said she would sleep there when she was missing Aster too much. They had moved to this new apartment last summer. It was bigger and had one extra room for Aster’s sister as promised. </p><p>Opening the door, she saw a pile of sheets and cushions by the couch and when moved closer, she confirmed that Ellie was indeed asleep in there, her back to Aster and face buried among the pillows.</p><p>She went to carefully uncover the other girl and kiss her awake, but as soon as the sheets were taken off, something yellow on Ellie’s skin, under her loose tank top, caught Aster’s attention. She moved one of  her hands under the fabric to take a better look, but the other girl woke up with the touch.</p><p>“Aster? What are you doing here?”</p><p>She ignored the groggy question in favor of asking another one “You’re not having a rebellious phase at your 20’s, are you?”</p><p>Aster lifted the tank top enough to see the full image and there it was, a yellow woman made out of wind, coming from the leaves and reaching for a star, identical to the one she had on her back.</p><p>Aster wanted to say something else, but her heart was beating way too fast and her eyes were already filled with tears. She decided to only trace her fingers over the tattoo.</p><p>“It was supposed to be a surprise”. Ellie said, turning around and looking at Aster to wipe some of the tears.</p><p>She chuckled. “It still is. The best one”</p><p>“Good, because it hurt as hell and I’m not doing it ever again.”</p><p>Aster laughed and took off her shoes, so they could cuddle until fall asleep on the small couch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There was one more thing I wanted to write about them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>*This is settle some few days after Ellie sees Aster’s back tattoo*</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>_</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie was reading by the couch on a saturday afternoon when she heard the first thunder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had imagined that the constant heat would end up resulting in a storm sooner or later and quickly got up to close the windows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie also took her phone from her pocket and sent a message to Aster, asking if she would make it back home before the rain. The other girl had gone to the beach to sell her art and the chances were she didn’t have an umbrella with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The confirmation of Ellie’s suspicions arrived half an hour later, when Aster stepped through the door completely drenched, using some plastic bags to protect her paintings and complaining she didn’t understand LA weather.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They looked at each other for a few moments and Ellie had to laugh. The scene was funny, really, because even swearing non-stop, Aster still looked like the star of a romantic comedy movie, with her perfect smile and good humor almost indestructible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It also reminded Ellie of the day Aster took her to the hot spring, but that’s a minor detail.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you gonna keep laughing or will get me a towel?”. The girl asked, and was still grinning by the door when Ellie let out a ‘Yes, ma’am’ and went running to grab something to get her dry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Aster was in the shower, Ellie did a quick work of putting all the wet clothes to wash and decided to reheat the leftovers so they could have dinner. They ate mostly in silence, with the only interruptions in the room being Aster sneezing from time to time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before going to sleep she asked if Aster was sure she wasn’t going to get sick and the other girl simply told her not to worry and that her vitamin C levels were high. Still, Ellie said to let her know if she needed anything and went to the bedroom while Aster got comfortable by the couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was actually the heavy rain and the wind that ended up making Ellie get up from her bed in the middle of the night, the sound of the raindrops hitting violently the concrete wall outside was enough to wake her up and just not let her fall back asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Irritated by the noise, she went to the kitchen for a glass of water, also taking the opportunity to check if the rain had woken up Aster too. By the way the other girl seemed to be moving restlessly on the couch, the answer was yes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie stepped closer to share her displeasure for the annoying rain with Aster, but once she got her eyes on the other girl, she noticed something was wrong. Even in the low light proportioned by the street lamps, Aster looked pale and her face had a thin layer of sweat, also clearly stuck in an expression of distress.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aster? What’s wrong?”. The girl only managed to tell Ellie she wasn’t feeling well and one touch to her forehead was enough indication that there was a fever going on. So much for vitamin C...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie went back to the bedroom for some pain medicine and gave it to Aster, but they still needed to do something about the fever, if it got higher Aster would need to go to the ER and none of them could afford that. The girl told Ellie to help her to the bath, since apparently sinking down in the water could help ease her body temperature. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small walk to the bathroom was too slow for Ellie’s liking, Aster seemed way too dizzy and unsteady on her feet and Ellie was afraid to leave her alone in there, but there wasn’t much else she could do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That until Aster called her back, asking, with a tiny bit of embarrassment on her voice, if Ellie could help her to undress.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was absolutely nothing sexual about it, still, Ellie had the impression her cheeks would get a permanent burn from how hot they were feeling once she started to lift the fabric of the old shirt Aster was wearing, making the girl’s tanned skin being exposed little by little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie didn’t know if Aster was shivering from the fever or the touch. Maybe it was both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She did the best she could to not stare into Aster’s eyes. It was quite hard since she could feel the girl in front of her staring back and not giving any indication she was going to look somewhere else. Ellie just cleared her throat once the shirt was off and kneeled down immediately, announcing with incomprehensible and rushed words that she was going to take off the shorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aster didn’t say anything, only stepped out of the garment once it was down and Ellie suddenly didn’t know what else to do. Her eyes went straight to the tattoo on her left thigh, the flower and leaves spiral pattern, that she could see now, ended up on the side of Aster’s waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some parts of it were made of little daisies and others were roses with very prominent thorns, all mixed together in a way that was clearly premeditated. But, before she could figure anything out, Aster touched her cheek, bringing Ellie back to the whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aster has a fever </span>
  </em>
  <span>problem they were trying to solve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The touch was delicate, like almost everything in Aster, but Ellie also could understand the slight urgency she was trying to communicate. She clearly just wanted to get in the bath soon and Ellie was there, getting lost inside her head again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wanted to apologize, but in that moment, having another noise inside the small bathroom there wasn’t the rain outside or the water filling the bathtub felt like they were going to break some sort of unspoken deal, so she just smiled and Aster did the same in return, shaking her head amused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie was starting to get impressed at how she could follow every single word of this silent conversation they were having. It made her remember what the Greeks had said about soulmates, not the complementation part, but the whole shared unspoken understanding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was not the moment to waste time on this subject, though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She helped a unstable-on-her-feet Aster to the slightly warm water and asked if she wanted some privacy. The girl scoffed in a heartwarming way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like there’s much left you didn’t see already.” Well… that was kinda true and Ellie felt her body get hotter with embarrassment. “Besides, I don’t think I’m supposed to be here for too long”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adjusting her glasses, Ellie then sat down on the closed toilet, facing the ceiling and unlocked her phone. Hitting the player button, she let </span>
  <em>
    <span>Those sweet words by Norah Jones</span>
  </em>
  <span> play and could hear Aster moving her hands on the water, hopefully feeling better by the seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After something like 20 minutes, Aster started to give indications that the pain medication was doing its job and closed her eyes, ready to probably fall asleep right there. Ellie quickly grabbed her towel and helped the girl out of the bathtub and inside the bedroom to change into clean clothes, her eyes up, refusing to look more at Aster’s body than she already had, while the girl, high on painkillers, made fun of her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After changing, thankfully without Ellie’s help, and feeling much better Aster started to walk to the living room, but Ellie didn’t let her, saying she should take the bed at least for this one night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aster agreed and also asked to not be left alone in there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Figuring things couldn’t really get more awkward than that, Ellie sat down on the bed and waited for Aster to accommodate herself, then lied down behind her, on the remaining space, with her arms folded around herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate being sick…”. Aster complained with her voice hoarse and already half asleep. Ellie could only wish she would be better the next day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie woke up with the morning sun making the bedroom way too bright, thanks to the snow white walls she was facing. Her internal clock usually wakes her up around 7, but since it was Saturday, Ellie closed her eyes again, ready to get at least a couple of hours of extra sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for her to feel movement behind her and abruptly remember the night before, and that Aster was on the bed with her, even if they were back to back and somehow not touching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was still calculating how to get up without waking the other girl up when she felt her stretch, moving the sheet that was covering her lower half and lying on her back. For a moment Ellie thought Aster was going to get up so she closed her eyes and remained motionless, pretending to be asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl didn’t fall for that at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think the fever is gone”. Aster said with her voice full of tiredness, despite resting the whole night. Ellie could now feel some parts of her body touching her back and legs and, truly, the girl’s body temperature seemed to be back to normal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a minute of silence with neither of them moving, Ellie had expected Aster to be asleep again, but the girl put her hands on Ellie’s shoulder, asking her to turn. The problem was that, with the small space in the bed, there was no way she could move from her position facing the wall without kicking Aster to the floor, so after a bit of a struggle, a dose of embarrassment and some half awake giggles, Ellie was sitting by the end of the mattress with Aster’s bare legs on her lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanted to say thank you. For last night”. Aster started and Ellie was about to say it wasn’t necessary but the other girl interrupted her. “No, really. Thank you. It’s been some time since I needed to be taken care of… It was nice”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie nodded. “I’m just glad you’re ok” Aster half smiled and closed her eyes again, probably feeling too worn out to get up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was impossible not to stare and Ellie wondered that, if the parallel worlds were real, there was a reality where this girl wasn’t the epitome of beauty. Not solely by her looks, but by this shining existence she carried within and that reflected on everything she did. It didn’t matter if it was a cup of black coffee or some artwork, Ellie could always trace Aster’s bright presence on everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>She wondered if this was love too, but was too scared to get to a conclusion)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes moved involuntarily from Aster’s face to below her waist. This girl was impossible not to admire and the black tattoo on her thigh had an even clearer contrast to her skin from up this close and under the sunlight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The daisies and roses gave Ellie the impression of being something rebellious but also gentle, somehow matching Aster perfectly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did it in celebration of stopping being like everyone else and, therefore, nobody.”. Ellie jumped a little at the sound of the other girl’s voice. When she looked at Aster, she knew the girl had been staring at her for a while too. “And also to piss off my dad”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure did a nice job”. They smiled, still looking straight at each other. “What about the other one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aster went serious at the question and took a deep breath, a clear indication that the back tattoo had more deep meanings like Ellie had imagined</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s about my art, how it led me to where I wanted to be. But also…” Aster started to explain, but diverted her eyes before continuing. “... But also I wanted to carry one of the best parts of Squahamish with me”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ellie couldn’t help the little “</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh…</span>
  </em>
  <span>” once the idea that Aster was talking about her sank in, that to this girl, </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> was one of those best parts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was more overwhelming than she had thought and adjusting her glasses while cleaning her throat, Ellie quickly left the bed with the excuse of making breakfast. Aster didn’t protest, only asked for chocolate chip pancakes and turned to her right to go back to sleep, leaving Ellie standing by the door with the image of the fascinating, almost angelic girl laying down on the bed, sheets kicked off to the side, wearing nothing but a white band shirt and black underwear, hair a complete mess and making Ellie’s heart feel like it was about to gallop out of her chest.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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